First, you have the older T-shirts that I haven’t seen since Middle school. For example, “Make 7, Up Yours”. That shirt was at least popular at one point, even if that point was 10 years ago. Next, we move into the shirts I agree with. You see a lot of girls walking around with the shirt that “Boys need Yoga too.” Now, I’m not going to disagree with this. It’s just common sense. I mean, I don’t need to practice Yoga, but if my girlfriend knew it, I wouldn’t complain.
Finally, we move onto the outright bizarre. For example, “Only Safaris get me off.” Now, this shirt can mean a couple things.
1. She has no idea what her shirt says.
2. She has a weird fetish where she can only get turned on when being charged by a lion.
3. She has a weird fetish where not only can she only get turned on by a lion, but she has another one where she has to proclaim it to the world.
I’m personally hoping for number 3.
Now, we’ll move onto spoken English.
First, I have a work story that happened to Cory. There was a discussion in the office about spicy food. Cory pipes in stating that he can’t eat spicy food. This is immediately followed by our boss stating, “I’m a Spicy Girl!” Cory immediately looks at her and goes, “I don’t think that means what you think that means.” This is followed by Cory having to explain why it’s never a good idea to tell your co-workers that you are a spicy girl. Personally, I like thinking that Cory relayed the story wrong and that he admitted to being a spicy girl. It would make the past couple of years make so much more sense.
Finally, we’re going to move onto outright cursing. The Chinese have a fascination with the word “Fuck.” It never gets old hearing a very cute Chinese girl just outright scream “FUCK” at random points in time. However, the best time is when it’s used improperly. This has led to having to explain that the phrase “Fuck me!” can only be used in two ways, as an expletive or a request. This explanation also led to another explanation, in that of telling two Chinese girls why that’s also a request. Now, you’d think that would be the more obvious of the two, but I’m going to blame the Chinese educational system. Most things are learned by memorization, and I’m just going to assume they were taught that phrase in Kindergarten, and have no idea what it actually means. If so, I can’t wait till I get to teach that class.
Rather than turning this into a really long paragraph, I’m just going to end this with a list of names of Chinese people I have met and/or heard of from co-workers, and let you fill in the blanks about their grasp of the English language.
Echo, Rain, Camera, Any, Rainbow, Watermelon, Hamburger, Armpit.
Finally, I’m just going to end this with my new favorite curse, and why I officially love China.
Go Fuck Myself.
